sittin in this chair got my music in

chillin sippin on my pipe

thinkin bout what you said

in the leather seats

and the lemon heads,

but instead of a video game

and a T.V.

i'm tweaking with a pencil

and a paper

with a concert in my ears.

LiL Kim

i don't know why other than

cuz, shes hot and nasty.

sittin in this chair got my music in

with my powder

hidden between the valley

and his candy rocks

stashed in my snatch

with my spikes in the stirups

and my legs spread

looking like a pussy pez dispencer

AJ

Monotony

Today like yesterday
Tomorrow like today
The drip, drip, drip of monotony
Is wearing my life away
Today like yesterday
Tomorrow like today

-Langston Hughes



Freedom Seeker

I see a woman with wings
Trying to escape from a cage
And the cage door
Has fallen on her wings

They are long wings
Which drag on the ground
When she stands up,

But she hasn’t enough strength
To pull them away
From the weight of the cage door,
She is caught and held by her wings

-Langston Hughes




Around the corner I have a friend,
In this great city that has no end;
Yet days go by, and weeks rush on,
And before I know it a year is gone,
And I never see my old friend’s face,
For life is a swift and terrible race.
He knows I like him just as well
As in the days when I rang his bell
And he rang mine. We were younger then,
And now we are busy, tired men;
Tired with playing a foolish game,
Tired with trying to make a name.
“Tomorrow”, I say, “I will call on Jim,
Just to show that I am thinking of him.”
But tomorrow comes - and tomorrow goes,
And the distance between us grows and grows
Around the corner! - yet miles away…
“Here’s a telegram, sir…”
“Jim died today.”
And that’s what we get, and deserve in the end;
Around the corner, a vanished friend.

-Charles Hanson Towne




So often we reach out
And offer that which we have to give
To someone who has no need
Or does not recognize the value of our gift
Thus our gift goes unreceived
Through no fault of our own
And this rejection causes pain

But the real tragedy occurs
When someone comes along
Who has a need for
And recognizes the value
Of what we have to give
But because the memory of rejection
Is still fresh on our mind
We are no longer
Reaching out

-unknown



Death

No need to fear the specter death,
For he brings joy with every breath.
He takes you from this sodden earth
To planes of happiness and mirth.

I’ve met him…felt his cool breath,
He whispered peace… for I am death
I teetered on the threshold then.
Uncertain if to sink or swim.

Modern medicine did prevail,
I woke-up locked up in a jail…
So many times since that day,
I’ve wished that death had come to stay.

-Henry Floyd Brown



The Bars Around My Soul

The bars across my cell
Symbolize to me
The bars around my soul
And it’s striving to be free

Outward freedom has no meaning,
If deep within our hearts
Awesome prison bars
Keep us and God apart.

-Henry Floyd Brown



Mistakes

God sent us here to make mistakes,
To strive, to fail, to re-begin,
To taste the tempting fruit of sin,
And find what bitter food it makes,

To miss the path, to go astray,
To wander blindly in the night;
But, searching, praying for the light,
Until at last we find the way.

And looking back along the past,
We know we needed all the strain
Of fear and doubt and strife and pain
To make us value peace, at last.

Who fails, finds later triumph sweet;
Who stumbles once, walks then with care,
And knows the place to cry beware
To other unaccustomed feet.

Through strife the slumbering soul awakes,
We learn on error's troubled route
The truths we could not prize without
The sorrow of our sad mistakes.

-Ella Wheeler Wilcox




The Sloth

In moving slow he has no peer.
You ask him something in his Ear,
He thinks about it for a year;

And then, before he says a word
There, upside down (unlike a Bird),
He will assume that you have heard-

A most Ex-as-per-at-ing Lug.
But should you call his manner smug,
He’ll sigh and give his Branch a Hug;

Then off again to Sleep he goes,
Still swaying gently by his Toes,
And you just know he knows, he knows.

-Theodore Roethke



Should You Go First

Should you go first and I remain
To walk the road alone,
I’ll live in memory’s garden, dear,
With happy days we’ve known.
In spring I’ll watch for roses red
When fades the lilac blue,
In early fall when brown leaves call
I’ll catch a glimpse of you.

Should you go first and I remain
For battles to be fought,
Each thing you’ve touched along the way
Will be a hallowed spot.
I’ll hear your voice, I’ll see your smile,
Though blindly I may grope,
The memory of your helping hand
Will buoy me on with hope.

Should you go first and I remain,
To finish with the scroll.
No lengthening shadows shall creep in
To make this life seem droll.
We’ve know so much of happiness,
We’ve had our cup of joy
And memory is one gift of God
That death cannot destroy.

Should you go first and I remain,
One thing I’d have you do;
Walk slowly down that long, lone path,
For soon I’ll follow you.
I’ll want to know each step you take
That I may walk the same.
For someday, down that lonely road,
You’ll hear me call your name.

-Albert Rowswell

The pain we feel,
The blood we bleed,
The battle we fight,
The soul we bare,
To live freely.

The strength we search
For fighting an enemy
That always shadows.

The silence we seek
From a voice
That never surrenders.

The pain we feel
The blood we bleed
Is branded on our skin
As an eternal reminder
That we are forever fighting this battle
Together.

The pain we feel,
The blood we bleed,
The battle we fight,
The soul we bare,
Just to live freely.

captive by a capsule

stuck in the middle of the ocean; with my poison potion

constantly paddling; always battling

tired of fighting; wired for hiding

maybe I’ll sink so deep; I’ll have to drink myself to sleep

what if I drown before I’m able to float; surely someone found my note

in my head are blurred voices; now their just slurred noises

everyone says I should follow my strong will; my doctor says I should swallow this pill

everyone says it will be alright; maybe my heart will stop in the night

to be continued…..

innocence

10 years ago, I was 14.

10 years ago, I got hurt.

10 years ago, I lost my innocence.

I remember it was summer break and I just finished 8^th grade, when I got invited to my first High school party.

I remember the shirt I wore, the jeans I had on, thinking how pretty my hair looked and how excited I was.

I remember walking through the field toward the woods where I could hear the music and see the people mingling around the bonfire.

I remember hoping everyone would think I was cool and that maybe I could make some friends.

I remember how quickly it went from dusk to darkness.

I remember the glow of the full moon and the crackling of the bonfire.

I remember how the guys made sure my drink was never empty.

I remember feeling the burn slide down my throat as I took my first shot.

I remember drunkenly stumbling alone through the woods searching for a safe place to pee.

I remember voices following behind me: cat-calling, whistling, laughing.

I remember looking back and shouting into the dark “stop following me”.

I remember tripping and hitting my head when I fell to the ground.

I remember the voices were suddenly surrounding me.

I remember waking up in the back of a pick-up bed with an irritating headache; my whole body ached like every muscle had been strained.

I remember hearing birds chirping as I pull out of my deep sleep.

I remember realizing my jeans were unbuttoned and unzipped.

I remember reaching down to zip my jeans and noticing that they were stiff and crusty.

I remember laying there trying to recall the night; why am I so sore, why am I bruised, did I fall, what did I spill all over myself, I hope I didn’t act like an idiot.

I remember slowly sitting up, then looking down at myself.

I remember seeing the dried blood covering my jeans in between my legs.

I remember the sinking feeling in my heart.

I remember the throbbing I felt in between my legs as I walked home.

I don’t remember having sex.

I don’t remember if I said no.

I don’t remember who it was with or how many guys.

I don’t remember if everyone stood around watching.

I don’t remember if I liked the guy or even knew him.

I don’t remember if I was coherent or passed out.

I don’t remember what my first time felt like or if I enjoyed it.

10 years later I’m 24

10 years later I’m still hurt.

10 years later I know I will never get my innocence back.

10 years later I remember the night I can’t remember,

that I’ll never forget.

My First Love

For the first time I can say I’m truly in love.

I’m 23. Am I too young for this?

Well, its nothing official, I mean we don’t give each other a title or anything.

But, we do spend a lot of time together.

Everyday in fact.

And we plan dates together.

Occasionally we’ll go out, but mostly we just stay at home.

We love our alone time together.

I get anxious, excited, impatient.

Sometimes I think I’ll go crazy if I have to wait any longer to be with him.

He makes me feel good.

We hang out when I’m board, when I’m excited.

When I want to celebrate or just relax.

Honestly, I’ll use any excuse to be with him.

Sometimes I get mad at him, and sometimes he makes me so crazy.

A lot of times I feel the urge to just ‘get rid of him’ so to speak.

But he’s always there for me.

Like when I have a bad day and need some cheering up.

He comforts me, keeps me from feeling lonely.

I guess you could say he makes me feel complete, whole, fulfilled.

I can always depend on him; he’s there for me even in the middle of the night.

We’re adventurous together too.

Sometimes we have to sneak around just to be alone.

He always keeps me guessing, you know lots of flavors to his personality.

Really, I don’t know what I’d do without him.

I would be lost.

He’s got me hooked.

I just can’t imagine thinking I could never see him again.

I mean I can’t even stand one day away from him.

What would I do with all the extra free time if we weren’t together?

I’ve gotten so used to having him around.

I don’t know who I am without him.

Who would I have left to turn to?

Well, that’s crazy; I know he’ll never leave me.

We have such a deep history together.

Something huge would have to happen to tear us apart.

A message from God might be the only thing that could break us up.

You know, even if we did break up.

He’ll always be apart of me.

He’s my first love.

……..you want to know a secret?

It’s not a person that I’m in love with.

It’s food.

My name’s AJ.

I’m a compulsive overeater and bulimic.

I’m 23. I am too young.